Fright night – why you should never walk into a Hull pub sober

Walking into my favourite Hull bar at 10pm on a cold Friday night, coldly sober, it has became very clear to me that I am walking into a hot, heaving and intoxicated war zone; usually I dont see a Hull bar at 10pm like this as I am usually part of the intoxicated. This time I am late out and the sight that greets me is rather frightening.

Young men in groups are scattered about holding nervously onto bottles of lager, their eyes are darting about looking at the much older drunken residents for fear that they will be either hit on by a gaggle of old women or hit by the old men.

Women of a certain age with their cheap dresses hitched up provocatively over their thighs and their hair, a toxic mixture of sweat and hairspray, are stuck to their sweaty faces and necks. Men look on at these women, staring at them up and down from behind surely with their beer goggles firmly in place?

People are lurching about, dancing, drinking more, putting on lipstick and getting excited when a new song comes on without even knowing what that song is. Hangovers waiting to happen I say to my two friends who are busy rejecting the advances of one of said lurchers who then spots me and begins to direct his advances at me! I turn away muttering something, kind of like I do to those who sell the Big Issue in our town centre. I dont want to be mean, but I just dont want to buy!

Moral of the story? Get drunk before you go out!!

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3 thoughts on “Fright night – why you should never walk into a Hull pub sober

      • Brilliant! Some years ago I walked sober into a now closed Portsmouth Pub called the Mighty Fine and could not believe my eyes. They were having a dwarf/midget throwing competition!! There was a very frightening older larger prostitute who’s name I forget but she always wore the same black dress and had Tattoo’s on her chest! She was well known around Portsmouth. Anyway she grabbed me and said “i’ve got my eye on you darling, so get me a drink”! I mumbled something and looked around for my mates who thankfully were not there and escaped smartish. I did not go in there again for months. The dwarf/midget thing di’nt bother me that much but that big old prostitute scared me to death! Lol

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