Walking into my favourite Hull bar at 10pm on a cold Friday night, coldly sober, it has became very clear to me that I am walking into a hot, heaving and intoxicated war zone; usually I dont see a Hull bar at 10pm like this as I am usually part of the intoxicated. This time I am late out and the sight that greets me is rather frightening.
Young men in groups are scattered about holding nervously onto bottles of lager, their eyes are darting about looking at the much older drunken residents for fear that they will be either hit on by a gaggle of old women or hit by the old men.
Women of a certain age with their cheap dresses hitched up provocatively over their thighs and their hair, a toxic mixture of sweat and hairspray, are stuck to their sweaty faces and necks. Men look on at these women, staring at them up and down from behind surely with their beer goggles firmly in place?
People are lurching about, dancing, drinking more, putting on lipstick and getting excited when a new song comes on without even knowing what that song is. Hangovers waiting to happen I say to my two friends who are busy rejecting the advances of one of said lurchers who then spots me and begins to direct his advances at me! I turn away muttering something, kind of like I do to those who sell the Big Issue in our town centre. I dont want to be mean, but I just dont want to buy!
Moral of the story? Get drunk before you go out!!